Central
America
What happens when
climbers don’t climb? – We dance, and we sing, and we have a really really
REALLY good time! No splitters or slabs, pillars or glaciers in Central
America....But there are girls and parties, scuba and culture..and way, way too
many borders.
I’ve spent weeks...no
months, and continents just trying to start writing about this rollercoaster
ride of a journey..It’s been insane, I’ve been down, been up..and lived
experiences I’m still left questioning..and probably always will.
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- - - - - - Belize - - - - - - - -
I easily crossed into a commonwealth country, a pirate safe
haven, and a radically different culture. I was surprised by a few things in Belize;
firstly the people are amazing, secondly the country is dirt poor. Roads are
barley chip-sealed, and the general public are barley scraping by. Certainly
someone’s getting rich form the expensive tourism, and natural resources of the
country.
I stayed
away from the cay’s, mainly because of cost..Belize ain’t cheap. I spent a
night in what seemed to be a pay-by-the-hour brothel, then checked out crooked
tree wildlife reserve. With not much else to do, and not wanting to blast
through the tinny country, I headed into the jungle to the Mayan ruins of
Karacol. I drove deep into the jungle, passed military bases, through deep mud
ruts, and skinny bridges, to the ancient city. I wondered jungle tracks for
nearly two days of full value driving, found a 1000 foot waterfall, went
swimming, and had lunch with a nice Canadian family.
Belize was
nice, but there’s really not too much to do. I crossed back into spanishlandia
aka Guatemala after 4 days of English sort-of speaking bliss.
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| ancient ceiba tree |
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| Belize high country |
- - - - - - -Guatemala - - - - - - -
I went to
Tikal..big surprise right. It was nice, the best of the ruins I saw. Set deep
in the misty jungle; steep temples tower high over the canopy, howler monkeys
throw their shit at posh tourists, and it’s not actually that busy. It is a
must see.
Oh and the
border went fine, no scams, no bullshit, and no mandatory insurance, but lots
and lots of bug guns.
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wait...whats crossing?
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So out of
all Central American countries Guatemala’s mainland is by far the most
interesting. The scenery is breathtaking, and the large population of
indigenous people give a real feel of proper traveling. It is also the hardest
to navigate in. The 8 hour drive to semuc champey soon turned into 2 days.
I was
getting travel weary, and 10 hours of missed turns, bad directions, and hours
of backtracking didn’t help. I had to dig deep, but with no other options I
kept going. Night had fallen 2 hours ago. I was beat, and winding mountain
roads, but my destination was only 60 km away. Smooth pavement turned to large
loose rocks, decision made... time to camp. I woke to 15 nice machete welding
men walking past my tent, but of course no harm done. The next 60 km proved to
be the most challenging road I’ve driven to date; large loose rocks, steep
grades, and even steeper drops. I nearly kissed the pavement in relief after 3
hours of first gear rock bouncing. I
stopped for some food in a Mayan town along the road and soon had 60 people
watching me; I may have been the first white guy on a motorbike they’ve seen.
After missing another turn, backtracking, and eventually finding a hostel, I
had a nap.
To paint a
mental picture of the beauty of semuc requires literally ability I’m surely not
capable of. A raging jungle river plunges underground, at the same time spring
water forms turquoise pools and small waterfalls on top of the now underground
river.
Guatemala
was a highlight of Central America, and every traveler agrees that it’s a
stunning country. I regret to have spent only 5 days there.
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-
- - - - Honduras - - - - - -
Using
oncoming busses for navigation in the sign-less world of Guatemala, I nearly
on-sighted the sexy, curvy drive to the border. Having heard of many
Over-Landers being scammed, I was nervous about this one. After a quick check
out of Guatemala, and being told I couldn’t re-enter for 90 days, I realised Honduras
had all the power...and I hadn’t an option available. An insane number of photocopies, a few
acceptable fees, and I drove through a quickly setting sun to Copan Ruins.
I didn’t
even see the ruins that that make the town famous. Instead I flirted with a
group of French Canadian school girls and went to bed. Travel exhaustion was at
its peak.
The drive to
La Cieba, and access to the Bay Islands, didn’t start off the best. I screwed
up leaving town, even after asking several people for directions. Guatemalan
border guards kindly turned me around after one hour of jarring dirt road
driving. Two hours latter I was right
back where I started...
I managed
not to get murdered crossing through San Pedro Sula, the world’s most murdous
city (one in 5000 yearly). With the bike
hopefully safe behind the barbed wire of an empty hostel, I headed off to the
party-scuba paradise of Utila.
The 3 lies
of Utila: 1) I’m leaving tomorrow 2) I love you 3) I`m not going out tonight
The island
of Utila is a traveler’s vortex sucking people in for months if not years. It
was without a doubt the highlight of my time in Central America. I did my
opened water scuba certification. Breathing underwater for up to an hour was
the strangest feeling I`ve had in a long time, and the sea life was absolutely
mind blowing. The partying was also mind blowing...some of the craziest times
of my life?
My Utila daily
schedule: 6:30am alarm, 7:30am-4:00pm dive course, 5:00pm-10:00pm sleep,
11:00pm-5:00am party....repeat..
Needless to
say my body hated me as I stumbled onto the rocking ferry a week later. I had to say good bye to some amazing friends
on the island, little did I know they would come join me 2 days later in
Nicaragua.
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- - - - - Nicaragua - - - - - -
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| miss you guys!! |
I spent the
most time of any Central American country here, had the wildest, blurriest
parties, with the craziest crew, and said the hardest goodbyes.
I assume the
border went smoothly because I can’t remember a thing about it. I do remember
clipping a guy’s backpack nearing Leon at night, at the end of the 12 hour
drive from La Cieba. He probably shouldn’t have been standing in the middle of
the road.
Anyways, I
of course did the standard tourist thing there is to do in Leon; I went volcano
boarding, AKA sliding down a sharp gravel covered hill on a small piece of wood
and nearing speeds of 90 kph. Don’t worry its safe only a few people have
broken their hands, arms, feet and backs.
My amazing British
friends and party crew showed up a day latter. Our next couple nights may or
may not have involved the following: salsa dancing, a broken plastic chair, a
Norwegian pole dancer, a shoe-less night, mutually falling in love and walking
away in the span on 4 hours, a grindy lesbian dance party, and a really pissed
off hostel night watchman.
It was a
rough, shaky, and sweaty drive to San Juan Del Sur on 30 minutes sleep, and
despite the best efforts of a particularly slick oil patch I managed to keep it
on the road. I seem to remember seeing Granada, Nicaragua’s colonial gem on the
drive.
We went to a
music festival Saturday night then hit the infamous SUNDAY-FUNDAY.
Sunday-Funday
is basically exactly like being in a modern music video. Three hundred sexy
travelers, striped near naked, are ferried from pool party to pool party, as
the drinks flow, and music pumps. We
started at 2pm.
One more
party night as part of the ever-lasting binge: St. Patty’s day at an Irish run
hostel called Little Morgans, on the island of Ometepe, with all you can drink
rum punch for 10$.
Ya.. We
slept for a couple days after this one, and what had turned out to be a nearly
continuous week-long party.
I said some
really, really hard goodbyes.. I miss you; Chris, Laura, Alex, Dan and Jules!!
Much love.... but I had a boat to catch and a continent to explore.
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| sunset volcano boarding!!! |
-
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- - - Costa Rica - - - - -
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| sunset headding into Corcovado |
Another
border I don’t remember, so it must have gone smoothly, I was getting pretty
good at these by now. My head was filled
with mixed emotions. I was alone once again... somedays I feel like I’m
spending my entire life saying goodbye..
I headed out
to a small surf town called Malpais, of course the road turned to brutal
washboard just as the sun set. I made it to the town by 10pm and camped on the
beach. Where I witnessed literally millions on Hermit Crabs scuttling to the
beach from the forest edge, participating in what seemed to be a massive orgy??
I woke to spider monkeys jumping from branch to branch over my head.
I forced out
a 4 hour detox beach run in 40 degree heat, and then hit to road to panama,
realising quickly that I can’t even afford to eat in this little piece of the
United States. I checked out the jungle
peninsula of Corcovado National Park for a day and a half of full value
off-road driving, at one point crossing a river so deep that my panniers floated
my back wheel, the ran for the border.
Costa Rica
is nice, but way too americanised, and doesn’t offer anything that Panama
doesn’t for a fraction of the cost.
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| 55 chev driving fron san fransico to brazil |
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-
- - - Panama - - - - -
What a crazy
border, set in what appears to be a duty free version of a New Delhi street
market. One also has to show 500 American dollars in cash, and normally a
departing plane ticket back to one’s HOME COUNTRY, not just a different
country, to enter Panama. I luckily had a grand of American bills that I nicely
passed back the line of tourist, and I was accepted into the country without a
plane ticket because I was traveling overland. For the average travelers there
are several print shops around that will whip you up a “plane ticket” for a few
dollars.
I spent the
night on a nice desolate beach near Bocas Chicas, on the pacific coast, and
then drove a stunning mountain road to the Caribbean side, and the party
arcapeligo of Bocas Del Toro.
I left my
bike on the mainland and took a water taxi out to the island. My 2 short days
there were mostly spent on skype with my banks and western union trying to get
my own money. I needed 1200 dollars in cash to pay for the sail boat I was
about to get on to Colombia. It came
through literally at the absolute last moment.
I had a great couple final party nights; power hour-60 shots and 60 80’s
songs in an hour, and had a great night at the Aqua Lounge doing double front
flips off a swing into the warm ocean with a pretty Alabama teacher with an
insanely sunburned butt.
Once again
running off little sleep I ran 10 hours south towards Panama City, and my
rapidly departing boat.
I crossed
the canal, and made it through the amazingly beautiful modern city of soaring
white sky scrapers with little problems. But then I hit the southern toll
highway where I had the pleasure to meet the most unfriendly women in all of Central
America. She informed me that I couldn’t pay in cash and needed a digital
pass..Ok.
“Where can I
get this pass?”
“I don’t
know...somewhere in the city...back there...you have to turn around” she said
in Spanish
“You really
want me to drive against 5 lanes of oncoming traffic?.... really?”
“Yes...turn
around”
OK, fine..I
did a 6 point turn in the toll lane, cut across 5 lanes of oncoming traffic,
exited off the highway, then with no other possible roads south, entered the
highway and blew the toll and 3 others LIKE A BOSS. I’m not dealing with your
bullshit panama!!
I met up
with a few Americans on KLR 650’s. We
drove a rollercoaster ride of a road to the coast, and our waiting sail
boat. Dan’s sub frame bolts broke on the
drive...but it was quickly fixed with a ratchet-strap.
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| bike repair stop with Dan, Steve, and Nick |
-
-
-San Blas Island Sail to Colombia - - -
We
man-handled our land-loving beasts into what can only be described as large
canoes, two bikes per boat. Then beat
onshore swells out to the waiting sailboat the Independence, and hoisted the
bikes onto their home on the back deck of the boat.
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Cory Hall doesn't always drink beer while holding his 700 pound motorcycle with one arm on a motorized canoe in the caribbean. But when he does... he drinks warm Balboa - Stephen Chalberg
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I did a lot
or research when picking a boat, there are lots of horror stories out there,
and it’s a fairly pricy trip (1100$ US for passenger and bike). But it was a win, what an amazing trip with
such great people.
Us crazy
biker guys showed up a day before everyone else to load the bikes. We spent the
night on an island with the local Kuna people, then set sail the next day.
The trip
consists of 3 days in the tropical perfection of the San Blas, then a 40 hour open
ocean sail to Cartagena Colombia. I can’t say enough about how amazing the trip
was; great friends, crazy...crazy parties, snorkeling, beach volleyball, great
food, and a cuddle night on deck in 40 foot seas I’ll soon not forget!!
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Andrea...miss you lots...see you in bolivia
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| 60 feet up the mast |
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| colombia..after 40 hours of 40 foot seas |
