central america

Central America

What happens when climbers don’t climb? – We dance, and we sing, and we have a really really REALLY good time! No splitters or slabs, pillars or glaciers in Central America....But there are girls and parties, scuba and culture..and way, way too many borders.

I’ve spent weeks...no months, and continents just trying to start writing about this rollercoaster ride of a journey..It’s been insane, I’ve been down, been up..and lived experiences I’m still left questioning..and probably always will.

- - - - - - - Belize - - - - - - - -

 

I easily crossed into a commonwealth country, a pirate safe haven, and a radically different culture.  I was surprised by a few things in Belize; firstly the people are amazing, secondly the country is dirt poor. Roads are barley chip-sealed, and the general public are barley scraping by. Certainly someone’s getting rich form the expensive tourism, and natural resources of the country.

I stayed away from the cay’s, mainly because of cost..Belize ain’t cheap. I spent a night in what seemed to be a pay-by-the-hour brothel, then checked out crooked tree wildlife reserve. With not much else to do, and not wanting to blast through the tinny country, I headed into the jungle to the Mayan ruins of Karacol. I drove deep into the jungle, passed military bases, through deep mud ruts, and skinny bridges, to the ancient city. I wondered jungle tracks for nearly two days of full value driving, found a 1000 foot waterfall, went swimming, and had lunch with a nice Canadian family.

Belize was nice, but there’s really not too much to do. I crossed back into spanishlandia aka Guatemala after 4 days of English sort-of speaking bliss.

ancient ceiba tree

Belize high country

     - - - - - - -Guatemala - - - - - - -

 

I went to Tikal..big surprise right. It was nice, the best of the ruins I saw. Set deep in the misty jungle; steep temples tower high over the canopy, howler monkeys throw their shit at posh tourists, and it’s not actually that busy. It is a must see.

Oh and the border went fine, no scams, no bullshit, and no mandatory insurance, but lots and lots of bug guns.

wait...whats crossing?

So out of all Central American countries Guatemala’s mainland is by far the most interesting. The scenery is breathtaking, and the large population of indigenous people give a real feel of proper traveling. It is also the hardest to navigate in. The 8 hour drive to semuc champey soon turned into 2 days.

I was getting travel weary, and 10 hours of missed turns, bad directions, and hours of backtracking didn’t help. I had to dig deep, but with no other options I kept going. Night had fallen 2 hours ago. I was beat, and winding mountain roads, but my destination was only 60 km away. Smooth pavement turned to large loose rocks, decision made... time to camp. I woke to 15 nice machete welding men walking past my tent, but of course no harm done. The next 60 km proved to be the most challenging road I’ve driven to date; large loose rocks, steep grades, and even steeper drops. I nearly kissed the pavement in relief after 3 hours of first gear rock bouncing.  I stopped for some food in a Mayan town along the road and soon had 60 people watching me; I may have been the first white guy on a motorbike they’ve seen. After missing another turn, backtracking, and eventually finding a hostel, I had a nap.

To paint a mental picture of the beauty of semuc requires literally ability I’m surely not capable of. A raging jungle river plunges underground, at the same time spring water forms turquoise pools and small waterfalls on top of the now underground river.

Guatemala was a highlight of Central America, and every traveler agrees that it’s a stunning country. I regret to have spent only 5 days there.

-      - - - - - Honduras - - - - - -

Using oncoming busses for navigation in the sign-less world of Guatemala, I nearly on-sighted the sexy, curvy drive to the border. Having heard of many Over-Landers being scammed, I was nervous about this one. After a quick check out of Guatemala, and being told I couldn’t re-enter for 90 days, I realised Honduras had all the power...and I hadn’t an option available.  An insane number of photocopies, a few acceptable fees, and I drove through a quickly setting sun to Copan Ruins.

I didn’t even see the ruins that that make the town famous. Instead I flirted with a group of French Canadian school girls and went to bed. Travel exhaustion was at its peak.

The drive to La Cieba, and access to the Bay Islands, didn’t start off the best. I screwed up leaving town, even after asking several people for directions. Guatemalan border guards kindly turned me around after one hour of jarring dirt road driving.  Two hours latter I was right back where I started...

I managed not to get murdered crossing through San Pedro Sula, the world’s most murdous city  (one in 5000 yearly). With the bike hopefully safe behind the barbed wire of an empty hostel, I headed off to the party-scuba paradise of Utila.

The 3 lies of Utila: 1) I’m leaving tomorrow 2) I love you 3) I`m not going out tonight

The island of Utila is a traveler’s vortex sucking people in for months if not years. It was without a doubt the highlight of my time in Central America. I did my opened water scuba certification. Breathing underwater for up to an hour was the strangest feeling I`ve had in a long time, and the sea life was absolutely mind blowing. The partying was also mind blowing...some of the craziest times of my life?

My Utila daily schedule: 6:30am alarm, 7:30am-4:00pm dive course, 5:00pm-10:00pm sleep, 11:00pm-5:00am party....repeat..

Needless to say my body hated me as I stumbled onto the rocking ferry a week later.  I had to say good bye to some amazing friends on the island, little did I know they would come join me 2 days later in Nicaragua.

 

- - - - - - Nicaragua - - - - - -

miss you guys!!

I spent the most time of any Central American country here, had the wildest, blurriest parties, with the craziest crew, and said the hardest goodbyes.

I assume the border went smoothly because I can’t remember a thing about it. I do remember clipping a guy’s backpack nearing Leon at night, at the end of the 12 hour drive from La Cieba. He probably shouldn’t have been standing in the middle of the road.

Anyways, I of course did the standard tourist thing there is to do in Leon; I went volcano boarding, AKA sliding down a sharp gravel covered hill on a small piece of wood and nearing speeds of 90 kph. Don’t worry its safe only a few people have broken their hands, arms, feet and backs.

 

My amazing British friends and party crew showed up a day latter. Our next couple nights may or may not have involved the following: salsa dancing, a broken plastic chair, a Norwegian pole dancer, a shoe-less night, mutually falling in love and walking away in the span on 4 hours, a grindy lesbian dance party, and a really pissed off hostel night watchman.

It was a rough, shaky, and sweaty drive to San Juan Del Sur on 30 minutes sleep, and despite the best efforts of a particularly slick oil patch I managed to keep it on the road. I seem to remember seeing Granada, Nicaragua’s colonial gem on the drive.

We went to a music festival Saturday night then hit the infamous SUNDAY-FUNDAY.

Sunday-Funday is basically exactly like being in a modern music video. Three hundred sexy travelers, striped near naked, are ferried from pool party to pool party, as the drinks flow, and music pumps.  We started at 2pm.

One more party night as part of the ever-lasting binge: St. Patty’s day at an Irish run hostel called Little Morgans, on the island of Ometepe, with all you can drink rum punch for 10$.

Ya.. We slept for a couple days after this one, and what had turned out to be a nearly continuous week-long party.

I said some really, really hard goodbyes.. I miss you; Chris, Laura, Alex, Dan and Jules!! Much love.... but I had a boat to catch and a continent to explore.

 

sunset volcano boarding!!!

-      - - - - Costa Rica - - - - -

sunset headding into Corcovado

Another border I don’t remember, so it must have gone smoothly, I was getting pretty good at these by now.  My head was filled with mixed emotions. I was alone once again... somedays I feel like I’m spending my entire life saying goodbye..

I headed out to a small surf town called Malpais, of course the road turned to brutal washboard just as the sun set. I made it to the town by 10pm and camped on the beach. Where I witnessed literally millions on Hermit Crabs scuttling to the beach from the forest edge, participating in what seemed to be a massive orgy?? I woke to spider monkeys jumping from branch to branch over my head.

I forced out a 4 hour detox beach run in 40 degree heat, and then hit to road to panama, realising quickly that I can’t even afford to eat in this little piece of the United States.  I checked out the jungle peninsula of Corcovado National Park for a day and a half of full value off-road driving, at one point crossing a river so deep that my panniers floated my back wheel, the ran for the border.

Costa Rica is nice, but way too americanised, and doesn’t offer anything that Panama doesn’t for a fraction of the cost.

55 chev driving fron san fransico to brazil

-      - - - - Panama - - - - -

What a crazy border, set in what appears to be a duty free version of a New Delhi street market. One also has to show 500 American dollars in cash, and normally a departing plane ticket back to one’s HOME COUNTRY, not just a different country, to enter Panama. I luckily had a grand of American bills that I nicely passed back the line of tourist, and I was accepted into the country without a plane ticket because I was traveling overland. For the average travelers there are several print shops around that will whip you up a “plane ticket” for a few dollars.

I spent the night on a nice desolate beach near Bocas Chicas, on the pacific coast, and then drove a stunning mountain road to the Caribbean side, and the party arcapeligo of Bocas Del Toro.

I left my bike on the mainland and took a water taxi out to the island. My 2 short days there were mostly spent on skype with my banks and western union trying to get my own money. I needed 1200 dollars in cash to pay for the sail boat I was about to get on to Colombia.  It came through literally at the absolute last moment.  I had a great couple final party nights; power hour-60 shots and 60 80’s songs in an hour, and had a great night at the Aqua Lounge doing double front flips off a swing into the warm ocean with a pretty Alabama teacher with an insanely sunburned butt.

Once again running off little sleep I ran 10 hours south towards Panama City, and my rapidly departing boat.

I crossed the canal, and made it through the amazingly beautiful modern city of soaring white sky scrapers with little problems. But then I hit the southern toll highway where I had the pleasure to meet the most unfriendly women in all of Central America. She informed me that I couldn’t pay in cash and needed a digital pass..Ok.

“Where can I get this pass?”

“I don’t know...somewhere in the city...back there...you have to turn around” she said in Spanish

“You really want me to drive against 5 lanes of oncoming traffic?.... really?”

“Yes...turn around”

OK, fine..I did a 6 point turn in the toll lane, cut across 5 lanes of oncoming traffic, exited off the highway, then with no other possible roads south, entered the highway and blew the toll and 3 others LIKE A BOSS. I’m not dealing with your bullshit panama!!

I met up with a few Americans on KLR 650’s.  We drove a rollercoaster ride of a road to the coast, and our waiting sail boat.  Dan’s sub frame bolts broke on the drive...but it was quickly fixed with a ratchet-strap.

bike repair stop with Dan, Steve, and Nick

 

-      - -San Blas Island Sail  to Colombia - - -

We man-handled our land-loving beasts into what can only be described as large canoes, two bikes per boat.  Then beat onshore swells out to the waiting sailboat the Independence, and hoisted the bikes onto their home on the back deck of the boat.

Cory Hall doesn't always drink beer while holding his 700 pound motorcycle with one arm on a motorized canoe in the caribbean. But when he does... he drinks warm Balboa - Stephen Chalberg

 

I did a lot or research when picking a boat, there are lots of horror stories out there, and it’s a fairly pricy trip (1100$ US for passenger and bike).  But it was a win, what an amazing trip with such great people.

Us crazy biker guys showed up a day before everyone else to load the bikes. We spent the night on an island with the local Kuna people, then set sail the next day.

The trip consists of 3 days in the tropical perfection of the San Blas, then a 40 hour open ocean sail to Cartagena Colombia. I can’t say enough about how amazing the trip was; great friends, crazy...crazy parties, snorkeling, beach volleyball, great food, and a cuddle night on deck in 40 foot seas I’ll soon not forget!!

Andrea...miss you lots...see you in bolivia

 

60 feet up the mast

 

 

colombia..after 40 hours of 40 foot seas